Pointing out the Positives

In the past few weeks I have taken my own advice and embraced the suckage. I am not always very adept in speaking my mind. However, with the anger I was feeling I became conscious that it was time to not only feel it but start speaking it.  I was done just taking it all the time. And I started speaking my mind. In the safest place I knew, with my husband. 

I am a child of divorce. I have also been divorced and remarried myself. Yup, I am a statistic. Big hairy cry in my soup deal right? I recognize that divorced homes are the norm anymore. It amazes me how many of my students come from broken homes each year. However normal it may seem in the world, it does not make for a normal upbringing or a normal mental state on how the world is.

 For example, I always thought fighting meant leaving. I thought arguing was an invitation to start thinking about leaving. I thought loud voices meant you hate me and I suck. My now husband has taught me that none of these are true. He loves, corrects, and explains loudly. This is so foreign to me and sometimes hard for me. I have learned though over the past 10 years that loud doesn't mean you are mad. It is just his way of communicating. I feel safe with him. I feel more like me than I ever have.

So, I have been practicing being really honest about myself and how I am feeling. This may sound absurd to you. You may have always done this in your life. Me, not so much.

It is my nature to sacrifice my own needs, feelings, desires for the greater happiness of those around me. Aha moment…this may have been contributing to my angry days recently. You can only “take it” for so long. Pretending it doesn’t matter and doing your best to blow it off, when in reality…you are a person too. You deserve a say. You have a right to how you feel. Matter of fact I have even started saying that to my children. This is how I feel, sorry it affects you in a possibly upsetting way, but I have a right to my feelings. It’s sooooo much healthier than just giving up my wishes. It helps me own me. I’m accountable for my actions, thoughts, moods, and I get to be more involved. And that is a good thing for everyone.

My point? The anger is passing, the suckage slipping away. The flow of tears is subsiding. I am feeling stronger every day. I am feeling like a real person. And I am finding joy again. In the last 2-3 days I have actually been counting the positives. You know the things that bring a random smile to your face. No words. Just a smile. I have been collecting those things via photo graph. Now you have the pleasure of seeing what those things are. 

Finding my artistic roots. Creating a corner space where I can be myself. 

I absolutely love fluffy clouds. We have had skies full of them lately. Reminding me that God is everywhere.

My house lizards. We wanted one big one, but were having a hard time finding one. These two little beauties make me smile every time I come home and see them. 

Ominous clouds bringing wonderful rain to our dry desert. 

Beautiful sunrises with wisps of rain reflecting the colors of Gods love. 

I hope where ever  you are that you are creating your own photo montage of things that have brought you joy lately. If you have one you would like to share, I would love to add it to my blog. You can email it to blakesdaisy@aol.com. Let's point out the positives for a while. 

Loves.